You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
