he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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