A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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