so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
