I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
