Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
