If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
