I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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