The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
where are my eyebrows?
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