There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
