no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
