You're so nebulous sometimes
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He felt like a one man threesome
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
