So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
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sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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