@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
