she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
