The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
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So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
soo... how was my night?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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