Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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