I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
