I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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