i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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