I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize