all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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