Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
