a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
