Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
