my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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