And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
