Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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