I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
