This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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