i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize