so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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