Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
