I wish I could punch you in the face.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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