I wish I could teleport
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
