yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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