First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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