i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
