I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
