We're facebook friends in real life
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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