my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
