I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I want to have your abortion
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
