is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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