I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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