That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
