I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize