How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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