Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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