Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
