Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
