worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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