So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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