Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
