is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize