They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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