the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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