just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
