do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
