i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
