am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
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I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
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Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?