Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer