Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.