Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill

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  (617): Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill http://tfl.nu/gt09
  Replies (11) Good night (999) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!

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  (561): Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir! http://tfl.nu/b2ab
  Replies (18) Good night (2641) Bad night (517)
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  (516): View more from New York

  It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.

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  (516): It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch. http://tfl.nu/fh6f
  Replies (9) Good night (6262) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.

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  (704): Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten. http://tfl.nu/097z
  Replies (35) Good night (429) Bad night (4724)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.

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  (267): He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever. http://tfl.nu/526w
  Replies (48) Good night (28606) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.

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  (214): new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5. http://tfl.nu/1dnu
  Replies (22) Good night (9288) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.

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  (701): Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/s47d
  Replies (13) Good night (6838) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.

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  (330): Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered. http://tfl.nu/lz30
  Replies (8) Good night (472) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.

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  (815): We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of. http://tfl.nu/md9p
  Replies (21) Good night (1355) Bad night (2225) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.

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  (412): There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever. http://tfl.nu/yvee
  Replies (12) Good night (3000) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.

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  (914): I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me. http://tfl.nu/p01s
  Replies (1) Good night (1608) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  ...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.

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  (205): ...i'd have to set their sheets on fire. http://tfl.nu/qae8
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.

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  (865): She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise. http://tfl.nu/2xsu
  Replies (10) Good night (597) Bad night (1271)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on

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  (505): How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on http://tfl.nu/wdzm
  Replies (5) Good night (332) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.

  (806): View more from Texas

  That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.

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  (405): I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety. (806): That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you. http://tfl.nu/ztvc
  Replies (8) Good night (646) Bad night (157)

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