You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
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We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
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You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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